Double jacking

Today at work, I got to double jack, it was so much fun. Double jacking is where you sit with an experienced rep working on calls, you plug into their phone, and listen, and watch how the calls actually work. It was amazing. I got to see stuff we were learning put into practice. I got to watch the computer, hear the calls and then, the rep would ask me if I had any questions about the call. She was awesome. It was an incredible learning experience.

Of course with double jacking came the opportunity to see the floor. All I can say is WOW. 500 cubicles, and people everywhere. It was something. I'm really excited about getting to do this, this job really looks like allot of fun, and being in on the ground floor is amazing. I'm really quite impressed with it all. I hope I do well here. I could see myself staying here for a while... whether that's a good thing or not, I don't know. But I could.

I need to do well.

I have a 2 hour assessment tomorrow (at 7am GAH) on billing. I hope I do well. I would like to get another 100%. My math has been pretty good on this actually, which is surprising, but its more formulas which I was always good at, as long as my basic math is watched carefully, Ill do great.

Tomorrow I get to go see a movie with the X... I'm very excited by this, but to be honest, a little scared. There is nothing more in this world that I want then to be friends with him (besides being his again, but that ship sailed forever the SECOND he got a new girl... I mean I will NOT be a temporally step aside girl while he has fun with other girls, and then come back when he's done.. Nuh huh.) but I don't know if I can take it. I must try though. Its just so hard... Sitting on the sidelines and hearing about him going out dancing... Where for 6 years I begged to go out dancing, once... just ONCE... and he wouldn't "I don't like dancing, I don't want to" but I guess he just didn't want to do it with me...

I guess it was just me...

He didn't want to be with me.

That's allot to take... allot to swallow, and try and stay friends.

But I miss my friend. He has been my best friend for 6 years, and the pain of losing that on top of losing him is so much. Maybe I can make it work. I have to try, but time will tell... It will be come apparent to me quickly. As soon as I move into my new place, and get my own space, it will all come clear. I hope I can do it... I hope can stay friends, I hope he can stay friends with me too...

Time will tell.

Right now, I'm worried about sorting out my head... I'm pretty low... probably my lowest ever... but I think once I get my own place, Ill be much better... I hope. Until then, I will go on.

Because the alternative is unacceptable!