Merry Christmas

Well what a weird Christmas.

My family celebrates Christmas on the 24th, but this year I was working... So nothing really happened. Then I showed up at my mom's for Christmas breakfast. Had Dutch Baby, and sausage. Then we all did a little online Christmas shopping (why do boxing sales at the store when you can do it online), and then I had to go off to work. After an exciting day of work (which I will probably talk about another day) I came home and here I sit... Watching A Buffy Marathon/League of their own, eating lamb chops, and reflecting on the day.

I missed the X's family today.

I missed Helen today.

I missed Avis.

I miss Auntie Audrey

I missed my dad.

My X's family is always amazing on Christmas. First, his mom.... 1 tree was never EVER enough, and the sooner it was up the better. The house was always decked out in the most beautiful decorations, with as many trees as possible. To walk into that house after Halloween was true joy and Christmas spirit. His Dad, always happy, full of music, and spirit. His Grandparents, with wisdom, stories, and love. His Aunt with spunk, and sass, and zeal for life not to be exceeded by anyone. His sister a wild and crazy, fun, and heart. And of course the X himself... Whom I loved. I missed stockings after a 7am breakfast,achieving orange was always a treat. And that family was more generous than anyone I have ever known. I love them all. Gosh I miss them.

Helen used to always spend Christmas with my family. Drinking martinis, enjoying presents, and dinner, laughs and merriment. Her smile always warmed your heart, and we always had such fun playing Oilman where her company "Baby Oil" always beat out everyone else... Ok not always, but I like to remember it that way. I miss her so much.

Avis was my school teacher from grades 1 though 4. She tough in a one room school for grades 1 to 5. During that time she became great friends with my mom and dad, and after we move she became family. Avis was an amazing person with an unbreakable spirit. When I worked the system in highschool to get straight A's with out really doing anything, she was proud of my ingenuity, even though she saw the down side to what I was doing, she always saw the upside. I miss her laugh.

Auntie Audrey was my parents best friend for as long as I can remember. Her necklace change "Live, Love, Laugh" has always through out my life, given me inspiration. She was so VERY Swedish. And she made great Swedish lunches, with dancing and music. I miss her spirit.

My Dad.... It has been to many years to count since my father passed away, and yet ever Christmas I spend a lot of time thinking about him. Playing his guitar, watching hockey, discussing politics, dancing to Song Sung Blue (Mom, if you are reading this, you might not want to click this link - you WILL cry)... When I was young, my dad and I dance together to James Last's Song Sung Blue (from beach party 3 -Now you can get it on Best Of Beach Party: James Last). He would put on that song, and lift me onto his shoulder, and we would dance... It was our song. I always thought him and I would dance that at my wedding... But he never made it. I wonder if I should still play it when I get married someday, ether play it and request no one dance, or dance it with my brother (where the father daughter dance should be), I don't know If I could play it without crying. Anyway, I digress. At Christmas time, I miss my dad the most.

Now I did get to spend time with Grandma Betty, and Uncle Nick, and Aunt Carol which was AMAZING! They cam down Island to visit, and I hadn't seen them in about 10 years.... My brother hadn't seen them in 20. It was so long ago that he still had his baby teeth, and wasn't talking to people he didn't know. This was the first conversation they had ever had. It was surreal.

And I am getting to spend time with my brother, which means the world to me.

But Christmas still makes sad for friends and family I have lost, and family that is no longer mine. I miss them so much. My heart, and mind is with them tonight, for tonight is a night of family, here, or gone.

So as the door of Christmas closes for another year, I think of what I have, what I have lost, what is, has been, and will be.

Tonight I will sleep with thoughts of family.

My love to them all.

whether they are hear or not.

My love to them all.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
--Unknown