Happy Halloween

ereh ecalos ym dnif I ...golB s'alleredniC

ereh ecalos ym dnif I ...golB s'alleredniC



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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs."
-Christopher Morley, Inward Ho

The Sims 2 Sneak Preview Vides!! Check it out!

The Sims 2

The Ocean Calls To Me:

Indigo sunset
whispering winds
Ocean waves
Sparkling light
I can see suns dancing reflection
Water & wind
Sun & sand
Evenings delight
The ocean calls to me

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them."
-Charles Simic

Friendster - Have you friendstered yet?

Friendster - Home

Friendster is an online social networking community that connects people through networks of friends for dating or making new friends.

It is interesting: You are connected to 10,209 people in your Personal Network, through 3 friends.

If you know me, add me. (Search for me by first and last name... Or email me if you want to add me and you don't know my first and last name.)

I am a survivor!

Survivor
Destiny's Child

Now that you're out of my life
I'm so much better
You thought that I'd be weak without you
But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you
But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without you
I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you
Now I'm wiser
Though that I'd be helpless without you
But I'm smarter
You thought that I'd be stressed without you
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without you
Sold 9 million

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

Thought I couldn't breathe without
I'm inhaling
You thought I couldn't see without you
Perfect vision
You thought I couldn't last without you
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without you
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without you
But I'm on top
Thought it would be over by now
But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct
But I'm still here
Even in my years to come
I'm still gon be here

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

I'm wishin' you the best
Pray that you are blessed
Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gon blast you on the radio
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gon lie on you and your family
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gon hate on you in the magazines
('m better than that)
I'm not gon compromise my Christianity
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gon diss you on the internet
Cause my mama taught me better than that

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

(Beyonce)
Oh (oh) oh (oh)...

After of all of the darkness and sadness
Soon comes happiness
If I surround my self with positive things
I'll gain prosperity

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)



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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
-Aldous Huxley

Old friends, good friends

I got to spend time with some old friends tonight. Brandy & Michelle. We had dinner at Brandy's place. I got to meet her son Joey, and we spent the evening together laughing, and joking and reveling over old times. We watched the Mummy, which actually turns out to be not half bad.

It was amazing spending time with old friends. Talking about life, and changes, and good and bad and ugly.

One thing is for sure, old friends are the best friends.

I'm lucky I have such amazing friends in my life! If it wasn't for Diane & Sean, MJ & Kim, Brandy & Michelle, Chad & Anita, Paul & Peter, I don't know where I would be right now.

To my old dear friends: Thank you!

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."
-Pam Brown

Where I am?

Today I work I had some interesting thoughts.

Though my life I have had some amazing journeys. Living on an Island as a kid, getting to learn about the ocean and its creatures first hand. Playing music, and understand that music is heard with the ears and understood with the heart. Living on a farm with cows, horses, dogs, cats, geese, goats, learning to love and appreciate all life. Leanring to drive a car (standard of course). Learning to appreciate the little things. Discovering computers. Learning to scuba dive, having an epiphany that I was meant to be underwater. Leaning to be me. And so much more.

My life is just beginning.

I look around me and think of where I thought I would be right now. Did I think I would be where I am... No. But where I am is a good place. I am happy, healthy (minus the car accident stuff), and I am learning to rediscover and appreciate who I am.

I am a great person.

My journey right now is one of rediscovery. I 29 I am actually starting to figure out who I am, and what I was meant to do. Is it to little to late? Gosh I hope not. Will I have the courage to strive towards what I need? I hope so. Will I be happy?

Yes

This is my life, I intend to live it!

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
-Douglas Adams

I'm very tired

I did not sleep well at all last night. I'm pretty exhausted right now.

I am so happy to be back at work. Spending time with all my friends, enjoying my job (because I do love it... How weird is that)... I even enjoy the BS and politics.

Now I just have to get better.

I spent a good chunk of yesterday with ice on my neck so that it would stop the pain. Good thing I took the frozen bottle of water.

Well maybe after this week, things will really start to get better for my back/neck/shoulders and I can start to put this behind me.

Heck, I really want to go back to the gym.

Healing takes to darn long!

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
-Calvin Coolidge

The Sims™ 2

The Sims™ 2

First day back

Well yesterday was my first day back to work after 4 weeks of sitting at home bored due to my accident. And what a fund day. People welcomed me with open arms, literally. They were all so happy to be back, and I was happy to be there. It took me a bit to get back into the flow of things... I sat at my login screen for a while with a dumbfounded look on my face trying to remember how to load it all up. But after I while I was back in full swing. I even got to work late, not buy choice of course... But the usually last minute call that lasted 45 minutes after my shift. Got to love it.

Today I'm going to meet some friends from work fro lunch. We are going to catch up and yack about the last month. Should be great fun.

God its good to be back!

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"The Devil finds work for idle hands."
First Appeared in 1721
-Proverb, 1721

I get to go back to work!!

I finally got the ok to go back to work, hopefully I can work 8 hours, and 5 days and not have to much problems, but we will see. I'm just glad I'm finally going to be able to do something!

Back to my new life, such as it is.


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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?"
-J. Paul Getty

I know what you did last summer

Do you have a soundtrack to your life? Certain CD's (or tapes) remind you of a certain time, place, and people in your life? I know for me that is very very true. Yesterday I decided to sort through all my CD's. Put them back in their right cases, clean them, see what I have because I haven't listened to any in six years.

What I found was not an assortment of music, well, yes it was, but...

What I found was the soundtrack to my life.

Be it

Corey Hart,
Amanda Marshall,
Big Shiny Tunes 2
I know what you did last summer soundtrack,
Gypsy Kings,
Alanis Morresette,
Metallica,
Benny Goodman,
Michelle Wright,

or whatever...
All these CD's had music that was important to me. That IS important to me. They are the sound tracks to my life.

I listen to them and memory's flood back as clear as if they were yesterday.

I listen to Young Man Running and think of driving the #1 Hwy to Chilliwack, with the top down in my blue cav singing with my friend Diane.

I listen to I know what you did last summer sound track, and I'm in a Jimmy driving to Porteau Cove with Julie, getting ready to do a couple dives then take off to Whistler.

Things like that. It is the soundtrack of my life.

Listening to it makes me miss people, places, things.

But...

Listening makes me smile, and I love that!


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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Music is well said to be the speech of angels."
-Thomas Carlyle

Four months

Has it really been that long?

The X and I split 4 months ago, and I can't believe it.

It certainly dose not feel like 4 months, I certainly don't feel like I have moved far enough along for 4 months. I do still feel torn, lost, alone and in love with someone I cant have. I feel like it has only been a month or 2, but certainly not 4.

I thought for sure that I would be well over things by now, I guess I was mistaken.

On the flip side, I know I have some so far so fast.

I know I am doing amazing... But I don't feel like it is enough for 4 months.

That is a depressing thought.

People often ask me if I could go back in time would I... My answer is two fold: No, and Yes.

No I don't want to go back and erase the last 6 years, it was an experience, and I love him, and you ant fight that. But Yes. I want to go back to the start of highschool back to 1987. I would go back and change what I did. Not take the easy route, concentrate on writing, and marine biology. I would spend time with photography, and friends. I would love to go back to 1987 with the knowledge I know now. Where might my life have gone. I would go to university. I would get a masters or PHD.

I would do things so different.

If I had $1,000,000 I would pay off all debts, buy a house, and go to school.

I wish hindsite was more useful!

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."
-"Cheers"

Dangerboy

What a fun night! Tonight I spent the evening with my friends MJ & Kim. We sat around and talked, we watched Gangs Of New York (great movie by the way), we laughed and had a good time. It was awesome.

It is so great spending time with my friends, getting to see them, their kids (in some cases), and just spend time talking, catching up, and having fun.

It's been so long since I have gotten to do that.

Friendship is being slowing put back in my life, and back in the right spot: My heart.

A lot of time has been wasted by me concentrating on a marriage that couldn't be.

I have forgotten how to be just friends.

I'm used to people coming over, of inviting me over because they wanted something. I was used to the X inventing people over because he wanted something. I had been forced to forget that friends can just be... That people can hang out, and spend time together just to enjoy one another's company.

Tonight, I remembered that.

Tonight was just good friends having fun.

No expectations, no needs, no wants. Just fun.

The way it used to be.

Friends for friends sake.

Friendship because of friendship.

I had forgotten how that works.

People can just spend time together no expectations.

It has been so long since I had done that, I had forgotten people can and do spend time together just because.

For years the only time I could spend with my friends was if there was something needed, or they wanted something. I spent so much time trying to keep my failing relationship together I forgot about my friends. The X always had friends over, but there was always ALWAYS an ulterior motive in one or the other party's mind. I was embarrassed to have my friends see that. And I was always afraid if I had my friends over that would be the one time the X would come home alone, and I would miss out (which happened a few times before I gave up). It was a sad existence. My view of friendship had been skewed, by me, and by the people around me.

And I didn't want my friends to see that... I was embarrassed, and I knew if they saw that, they would have said something, and I wasn't ready for that: not yet.

I forgot what I friend is.

I forgot how to be a friend.

I am relearning how to be a friend, how to understand friendship, and that it belongs in my heart. No more, wants, needs, expectations or suspicions....

Just friendship.

MJ, Kim.... Thank you.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy."
-Anon.

Thanksgiving

What a weekend.

I got to spend time with a lot of friends and family over the long weekend, it was something I hadn't done in a long time.

On Sunday, MJ, Kim, Diane and I got together and watched bowling for columbine. What a good movie... I can never see enough of it. We all sat around chatting, eating chips, and just having a great time.

Monday was thanksgiving, so I went to my moms where she prepared a Swiss Raclette for Helen, Hank, Betty, Ernie, My mom, and myself. We had Beef, tereaki beef, chicken, tereaki chicken, scallops, prawns, veggies, and of course the Raclette cheese. It was very good. For dessert we had vanilla icecream with amaretto on top. Mmmm.

By the end of the night though, I was thoroughly drugged up and passed out my neck and back were so sore.

But it was so much fun.

We talked, laughed had a good time, good food, good wine.

You don't get better than that.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works."
N.B.: "Eat, Drink and be merry." See also Luke 12:19
-Ecclesiastes 9:7

Who I am

Jessica Andrews
Who I Am lyrics

If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's (Roma's) granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make big mistake
When I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's (Roma's) granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstable
I am young but I'm able

I am Rosemary's (Roma's) granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I am Rosemary's (Roma's) granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am


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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"The soul that is within me no man can degrade."
-Frederick Douglas

How do you see yourself?

When you see yourself in your minds eye, how do you see yourself? What do you think of yourself? Is that option right, or skewed to far to the positive or negative?

I know I am my own worst critic.

I see myself as I was 7 years ago, when I was in Vancouver taking my SCUBA instructor course. Where I was at my fittest (debatable), but even then I don't have a good view of myself. And then if I look in the mirror I get frustrated.

I am my own worst critic.

I don't like my personality...

I don't like how I look.

I have horribly average looks, need to loose a few pounds, with a personality that could choke off a room.

that's how I see myself.

But is my perception correct?

We are our own worst critics.

I have been told that I am funny, and a good person with a heart of gold... But that's not how I see myself.

I have been told I am pretty, with beautiful eyes, and am hot to some... But I don't see myself that way.

Why are human beings are we so critical of ourselves?

What can one do to change their perception of themselves to a more positive one?

How can you see your self as you actually are?

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from."
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Insensitivity

Where I live, there is an unusually large population of elderly people. We always joke this is the town of the newly wed, and nearly dead. This large population of seniors all seem to ride Electric Scooters. You know the ones. And they all thing they are cars... They drive over peoples feet in stores, on the sidewalks they push people aside practically running them over, on the roads they drive them like they are cars, and on the highway... Well that is something best to be seen. They just don't care: you are in their way, and must get out, and they have a right to be there, tuff to anyone else.

So today I saw the most insensitive thing yet...

I went for a walk around, I wanted to see what all the construction across the street was about, check out the area, you know... Just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I decided to cut through the Mc'D's Parking lot to see the buildings behind it, and in that parking lot I saw one of the aforementioned scooters, parked in a spot reserved for the physcally challenged.

Now, this being parked their denoted that this person was well and able enough to walk to the restaurant. I think that they should have left that spot for someone who maybe couldn't make that walk.

I found that being parked their rude and offensive.

Its one thing if they cant walk, the they could.

Maybe they couldn't walk far... But the next spots were not far away.

It just seemed unfair to me, heck, they could had rode it in.

It's just insensitive.

Smells

Have you ever noticed how smells can remind you or a person, place or thing? Even the most obscure scent can remind you of a happy, or sad memory. Today I went for a walk, and I smelled Pipe tobacco. It reminded me of my Godfather. Just that smell alone reminded me of days gone by, and of family times spent with my godparents. It reminded me of my godfather sense of humor, and my godmothers caring. Just a smell can remind you of so many things...

We should all take time out, and smell... The roses?


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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Perhaps even these things, one day, will be pleasing to remember."
-Virgil, Aenid

I miss my friend

It's stormy nights like tonight I miss my friend. I really miss him (the X). I miss spending time with him, hearing about his day, being there to encourage him, having someone to snuggle up to on a stormy night. Where turn off all the lights, and just listen to the storm.

I really miss my friend.

Stormy weather

I love stormy weather. Thunder, lightning, wind, rain. I just love a good Strom. To hear the wind howl, there is nothing like it.

Right now, its stormy!

The wind is howling, and blowing like its on a mission. I love it!

the trees are blowing, the wind is screaming,

It's beautiful.

There hasn't been much to blog about recently, being off work, and basically stuck at home, does not make for good blogging. I have been working on getting better, and getting back to work, but its slow, I was hoping to be back at work today, but that's not going to happen.

I'm so bored.

I'm going out of my mind bored.

But...

I just keep thinking, an inch, and it could have been way, WAY worse.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us, and though distant, is close to us in spirit - this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden."
-Johann von Goethe

I have the greatest mom

My mom showed up today with bags of produce. Not just any produce, off the farm fresh picked farmers market produce, and although I was exhausted (only 5 hours sleep), I was thrilled. She also brought with her a plant. This plant matches my chesterfield. Beautiful.

How lucky am I!

I made this beautiful salad from all that produce. Fresh earth salad, with a taste so good, so fresh it just needs a wedge of lemon, if that, to go with it (which she also brought).

I have fresh corn too!

And the perfect Veggies to make an excellent spaghetti sauce.

How lucky am I!

I have the greatest mom in the world!

Thanks mom, for everything!


"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-Honore' de Balzac
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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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Community Services - Want to see Vancouver BC then & now.... Check it out!

Community Services

So You Wanna be a Shark Biologist

So You Wanna be a Shark Biologist

Writings

I started a story today that actually seems to be taking shape. It's a fantasy story, but I don't know if its any good. I'll have to see once it's done.

I do not feel well today, I went to bed with a bit of a fever, and woke up with a pounding headache. Maybe its because of the fact that I know ICBC will now be looking after everything, which is great, but to have that much stress lifted at one time, can reek havoc on me just as bad as the stress itself.

Thank god for Coffee and Tylonal.


I started looking into what it would take to become a shark researcher, and oh boy did I miss the boat.

Seems shark research has become the new trendy thing to do, and because of that, people like me, who have wanted to do it all their lives, before sharks were trendy, are left out in the dust.

I don't know if that's a viable dream to chase.

I want to.

But to start chasing that dream requires more money (for education) than I can even conceive on having.

What do I do.

I want more education.

I have this thirst right now to learn what I need to learn , to help me chase my dreams, but its so expensive.

Is there another way?

I hope so.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
-Robert Frost

Good bye to you.

Michelle Branch
Goodbye To You

Of all the things
I've believed in
I just want to
Get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days
That pass me by
I've been searching
Deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
Are starting to get old
It feels like
I'm starting all over again
The last three (6) years
Were just pretend
And I said

"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to"

I used to get lost in your eyes
And it seems that
I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and
You chase my thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything
And nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
-Charles Caleb Colton

I love my apartment

I am sitting here right now, looking outside my bedroom window, out through the poplar tress, with their changing fall leaves, over to the nursery/garden center filled with beautiful plants and flowers over to the fir covered hills into tonight's foggy mist and I think, man, what a beautiful view. I walk out onto my balcony, to the same view, with the ocean blocked out by the fog, with the reddening trees, its just stunning. I just stared out for an hour, enjoying the view, the fog, the beauty the is BC.

See for yourself:

pic 1
pic 2
pic 3
pic 4
pic 5

Then I walked around m apartment.

It's clean, and fresh. The furniture is comfortable, and nice. The pictures are a statement, and its a nice clean livable place. Everything is just how I like it. Everything is in its place. I leave the house clean, I come home its still clean. Everything is just so home.

I like it here.

My apartment is great.

I'm close to the ocean, and it's home.

What more can I ask for.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again."
-Willa Cather, My Antonia

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

They are redoing the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It will be coming out October 17 2003. I really want to see it, but I don't know anyone who will go with me. Perhaps I'm nuts, but I'm a horror fan.

Got my car back today. All shiny and clean. Looks great. I wish I was as easy to fix.

I need to keep this short, I got a migraine coming on.

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INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY
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"Bluntness is a virtue."
-Allison Ling